Sara

Setar/Piano

A number of you have commented on the music I have put on this site and wanted information about it. This piece of music was recorded in Tehran about a year and a half ago by my husband Amir Hossein Sam and his dear friend Mr Sina Jahan abadi. It is an improvised piece of music based on some of the melodies from Amir Hossein’s latest album “Zard, Sorkh, Arghavani”. Unfortunately the setar piano piece is not in the album.

Don’t despair, as they are hopefully planning to record a new album in the summer which should have this track in it.

For more information on “Zard, Sorkh, Arghavani” please go to:

http://sam.malakut.org/archives/2006/01/

One today!

It is the twelfth of April 2007. Exactly one year to the day I awaited your arrival in anticipation. I cannot believe how fast the days have passed and how much you have grown up. Today we celebrate your life and the anniversary of your presence. Happy birthday Hazelnut!

How can I title this?

As our time here comes to an end I want to spend every minute awake. It’s different this time. The hatred, the envy the negativity the disputes, the dislike, the disgust, the detestation has all been replaced with one thing. This is something indescribable and too immense to write about. It has taken over. It is spreading and drowning the sorrows. It is engulfing the hate and making everything in its path pure. Its light is stronger than the rays of the sun. it has been shared and yet do they feel it like I do. Do they see the difference it has made? They ask questions but they do not know. They will never know the truth. They can’t comprehend the sheer size and magnitude. I know the few who know. I know because they DON’T ask. They just know.

“Love came and set the world on fire”

Yalda fun!

Ok, so I’ve just managed to put the little one to sleep again and I don’t have much time so I’ll make my contributions to this game of shab-e Yalda quick. I have been told to write 5 things about myself which not many people know about:

My biggest ambition in life is to do a bungee jump and to parachute off a plane.
I like marmite and hate chelokabab!
I am fluent in Avagav (a language invented by school girls)
I always wanted to be an archeologist
I am addicted to baby gap

By the way, he is now fully awake!!!!!!

Goodbye Oxford

I have been thinking about the day we moved here and how uncertain I felt about living somewhere new. It seems like yesterday that we went for that long walk along the canal on our first evening in oxford. We passed beautifully decorated canal boats and people making there way home on their bicycles. We new no one in this magnificent city and our loved ones were left behind. We were excited about being here and nervous about what the next two years of our lives held in store for us. We ended up in the city centre by which time darkness filled the warm summer night. Almost two years have passed since then. We got to know and love Oxford. We found many new friends. We lived and worked happily. And now we are returning to London with a new addition. It’s true when they say ‘time flies when you’re having fun’. We will soon close the ‘Oxford chapter’ in our life and begin a new one.

I will miss this wonderful city in which I have so many memories. I will miss seeing the students dressed in their examination outfits some smiling, some looking somewhat unhappy about the outcome of their exam. I will miss my friendly patients and the kind people I worked with. I will miss the colleges and historic buildings which gave this city such character and dignity. I will miss our long trips to and from London on the red and green coaches and the journeys that I may not have necessarily enjoyed at the time. I will miss that canal which I passed everyday on my way to work. Oxford will always have a special place in my heart.

Now I know that wherever I go it is I who could make that place work for me. It is I who can make my life enjoyable or detestable. So from now on I vow not to be afraid of ‘NEW’.

Alone

He is on lone tonight. It’s the strangest feeling. I know he is in the room next door safe and sound asleep, but I miss him so much. As I lay awake, I remember the first night we spent together. He lay in a small crib beside my bed in that dark ward. Everyone else was fast asleep including him, and I felt tired and anxious. What if I couldn’t fulfil this role? What if I couldn’t understand his needs and interpret his cries? I didn’t sleep at all that night.

When I look in to those dark eyes I see innocence. When he smiles at me it fills me with joy. I drop everything and run to his pleading cries for a feed. It melts my heart to see tears circulate in his eyes.

He needs me…. but I think tonight I need HIM more.

The true meaning of LOVE

For the past few days we have had a very dear guest at our home. She

is a very special lady and with every passing minute that I spend with her I learn something new. She has taught me about love, devotion, patience and selflessness.

She is like the water that flows in a stream,

the early spring blossoms on a tree,

and has the scent of early morning breeze.

She speaks of her grandchildren with tears of love in her eyes. I can see she misses them. She speaks of the past, the present, the future. And every time she speaks I gaze into her eyes and try to picture her words. She tells me of her youth, when she was a girl and when she married. She tells me about life and its ups and downs and 18 years of solitude. Her soul is free and her heart is pure.

She is the true meaning of LOVE.

My April Gift

Today is the twelfth of April 2006. It is 6.55am and the silence around me has provoked me to write once again. Today I enter a new phase in my life. One that many women around the world have faced. It brings new responsibilities, duties and it’s a time to put the need of another before my own. I have been getting myself ready for this day. But I think its something instinctive. The silence will be broken tonight. I will be handed a gift, a precious parcel to look after and nurture. This will be a new and exciting challenge for me and I pray that I can fulfil this challenge to the best of my ability.

Norouz with Sayeh ensemble

My favourite time of the year, Norouz, has finally knocked on our door. Although spring has not yet arrived in Oxford and the trees remain bare, Sayeh ensemble have brought spring blossoms to our home. As they practice for their upcoming concert and fill our home with heavenly music, they remind me of the beauty of this magical season.

Sayeh Ensemble Spring Concert Friday 31st March 2006

Kamancheh: Sina Jahan-Abadi Setar: Amir Hossein Sam

Tonbak: Amir Ali Sam Vocals: Ashkan Kamangari

Venue: SOAS London (Brunei Gallery), Mallet St., London WC1H 0XG

Tickets: 07811 21 64 67

The joke is on us!!

I too found the astonishing cartoons of the prophet Mohammad published in the Danish newspaper insulting and completely unacceptable. For them to publish and make fun of the prophet was uncalled for. I was also pleased when I heard that, for perhaps the first time, Muslims of the world united and condemned this and demanded an apology. These are the same Muslims who argue over the commencement of Ramadan! Very soon after this an apology was made by the Danish newspaper. Should that have ended the dilemma???

Here in London a group of about 200 Muslims protested in the streets and wrote the most unacceptable slogans on placards and marched the streets shouting rather abusive words, such as “massacre those who insult Islam.” Meanwhile in other parts of the world, Lebanese demonstrators set fire to the Danish consulate in Beirut and Syrians set the Danish and Norwegian embassies ablaze in Damascus.

Let’s get something straight. The cartoon WRONGLY illustrated that Muslims are followers of a PROPHET who encourages terrorism. This is total baloney! However, surely by behaving the way some of our Muslim brothers and sisters are behaving in the world we are in fact illustrating that we do have a violent and destructive streak. We are in essence showing the world that if you say a bad word about us we will retaliate with violence!

In a formal statement, Inayat Bunglawala, spokesman for the Muslim Council of Britain umbrella group said "The placards that were on display were quite disgraceful and in our opinion seemed to constitute a clear incitement to violence, even murder.”

Europe and America are looking for an excuse to attack Muslims and they will use any tool within their power to provoke a reaction. Unfortunately us Muslims don’t seem to catch on their little political games and fall into the very trap they have awaiting us!

Winter wonderland

We haven’t had a winter like this in the UK for many years. It’s bitterly cold. They predicted snow for most of the country today. On the news it showed the beautiful snow covered Scottish Mountains and young children rejoicing at the sight of all that fresh white snow. I had hoped for a similar morning.

My little hazelnut and I are looking forward to a nice quiet weekend together- some soft music in the background, nice food and the anticipation of snow.

The month of friendship

It is the Holy month of Ramazan. I was always told and believe that the true meaning of a “fast” is not just refraining from eating. This month is a good opportunity to “fast” from seeing, hearing, saying and doing. This is the month for forgiving and forgetting, for renewing friendships and opening our homes and hearts to those around us, despite our differences.

It may be quite simple to miss a couple of meals, but the REAL TEST is to find a way to tell the person(s) we have been trying to avoid for months that we still care for them and ask them to include us in their prayers. I wonder how many of us have the “will” to do something that our pride, arrogance, and self-pity would prevent us from doing.

There is only one way to find out.

Zard, Sorkh, Arghavani

This beautiful piece of improvised music was recorded without previous rehearsal at Mr Minachi’s Sahra studio. This is based on some of the melodies from Amir Hossein’s latest album “Zard, Sorkh, Arghavani”.

I have never heard a combination of Setar and Piano as beautiful as this, and it was surprising to see how amazingly the two played as though they had practised this piece a thousand times before. Without doubt this was one of my most pleasant experiences in a recording studio!

Piano: Sina Jahan-Abadi

Setar: Amir Hossein Sam

456 hours!

Vocalist solo, setar solo, Kamancheh solo, duo, trio...

Yellow, red, and crimson the colour of autumn leaves
They fall on the ground, as do our dreams...

In a small recording studio in the north of Tehran 3 people are sweating it out to create something to awaken the 6th sense of those who will one day hear the outcome of four hundred and fifty six hours of passion and shear exhaustion!

My goodbye...

I was awakened by the phone at 4am this morning. My dad had arrived safely. I haven’t slept since. I can’t stop thinking about her. When I was much younger we went to her house every Friday. I always crept into her kitchen where she quietly washed the dishes, or prepared something for her guests. She knew what I was after and with a sweet smile on her face she would bring me goodies to tantalise my taste buds. It was either sweets to share with the other grandchildren or my favourite ‘Aloo torsh’. Her house was the meeting place for the whole family. We had so many memories in that old house.

Oh, how she suffered during the past few weeks. Her temperature was high and she lay on her bed frail and weak. She constantly whispered to those around her that she wanted to go “home”. She finally went to her “home” yesterday afternoon.

May god bless her soul and may she rest in peace.