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July 11, 2006

Goodbye Oxford

I have been thinking about the day we moved here and how uncertain I felt about living somewhere new. It seems like yesterday that we went for that long walk along the canal on our first evening in oxford. We passed beautifully decorated canal boats and people making there way home on their bicycles. We new no one in this magnificent city and our loved ones were left behind. We were excited about being here and nervous about what the next two years of our lives held in store for us. We ended up in the city centre by which time darkness filled the warm summer night. Almost two years have passed since then. We got to know and love Oxford. We found many new friends. We lived and worked happily. And now we are returning to London with a new addition. It’s true when they say ‘time flies when you’re having fun’.  We will soon close the ‘Oxford chapter’ in our life and begin a new one.

I will miss this wonderful city in which I have so many memories. I will miss seeing the students dressed in their examination outfits some smiling, some looking somewhat unhappy about the outcome of their exam. I will miss my friendly patients and the kind people I worked with. I will miss the colleges and historic buildings which gave this city such character and dignity.  I will miss our long trips to and from London on the red and green coaches and the journeys that I may not have necessarily enjoyed at the time. I will miss that canal which I passed everyday on my way to work. Oxford will always have a special place in my heart.

Now I know that wherever I go it is I who could make that place work for me. It is I who can make my life enjoyable or detestable.  So from now on I vow not to be afraid of ‘NEW’.

Posted by sara at 1:50 AM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

July 5, 2006

Alone

He is on lone tonight. It’s the strangest feeling. I know he is in the room next door safe and sound asleep, but I miss him so much. As I lay awake, I remember the first night we spent together. He lay in a small crib beside my bed in that dark ward.  Everyone else was fast asleep including him, and I felt tired and anxious. What if I couldn’t fulfil this role? What if I couldn’t understand his needs and interpret his cries? I didn’t sleep at all that night.  

When I look in to those dark eyes I see innocence. When he smiles at me it fills me with joy. I drop everything and run to his pleading cries for a feed. It melts my heart to see tears circulate in his eyes.

He needs me…. but I think tonight I need HIM more.

Posted by sara at 12:42 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack